I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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