At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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