He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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