i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Say something about gay babies.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
