That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
