think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.