did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I think this conversation is over.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.