Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
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Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.