dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
either way he was missing a nipple.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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