I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
