weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
