My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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