i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Farmville is her only friend.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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