Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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