I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
