And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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