When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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