the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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