my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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