Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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