the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He better not be in your backpack
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I love you. Go after that dick
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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