Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
