There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
