if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
