I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
