So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
