Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So vagazzling was a success
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
