Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Randomize
