Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize