So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
