My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
