Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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