this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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