btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
