I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I have post one night stand depression
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