he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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