I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
