Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
do herpes really smell.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Randomize
