come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
