I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
You left your phone here
Wait...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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