sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
