what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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