At least make sure they are 18
Why
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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