The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
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