goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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