I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
