the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
my being single is dangerous.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
