I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
