Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
