This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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