just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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