Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Randomize
