you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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