i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
