Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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