he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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