Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
