just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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