my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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