Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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