i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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