I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
