I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
