did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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