all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
