I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
