I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
