well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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