You're earring is so big in my mouth
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
