i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
