I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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