come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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