Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
