May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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