so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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