dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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