he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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