I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
