once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
