Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
